I first stumbled over Bob Ricci at thesixtyone.com, listening to his ‘depressive rock song‘. A steady rock song, about an artist that wants to write a depressive rock song, but has the huge problem, that everything in his life is ok, and he has no depressing story to tell. It’s _hilarious_. As a bonus, the riff sounds indeed very nice - he sings ‘it would be such a pitty to waist this riff’ - and he can actually sing.
One of his more recent song creations is ‘Photoshop‘: an ode to the power good knowledge of Photoshop gives you. Please sing along with me (and fill in the blanks that I could not understand):
I used to be the biggest loser, I never could do anything right. I wet the bed until I was 14. Could never hold my own in a fight. But suddenly everything got changed. My whole life story rearranged. And all my friends they think that I’m deranged, but they don’t understand the godly powers that I gained.
I have got Photoshop, and I just can’t stop: I just copy, paste and I drag and drop. And everything in my life seems so much better! Ah, that faithfull day, at CompUSA, I was picking up a copy of GTA, and they were having a two for one special if you bought them together.
I got all A’s on my report card. At least the one I showed my dad. And here’s a note of Cameron Diaz, saying I’m the best she ever had. I got the girl of my dreams, to finally break up with Eugene. When she saw those pictures - so obsene - of Eugene all tight up in bed with her dear aunt Eline.
I have got Photoshop, and I just can’t stop: I just copy, paste and I drag and drop. And everything in my life seems so much better! Making fake ID’s, ???? breeze, just a couple clicks and I’m 23. Oh, and here’s a picture of me with my friend Eddy ????.
It shouldn’t be a mystery, that I go down in history, as one of the most famous photoshoppers over century, but I’m just hoping, nobody could possibly be on to me, while I’m still alive and kicking, because they will haul me out to jail. Then I’ll go on regrettably to work for a federal agency, helping pigs in suits with cracking down on other forgeries and when I’m finished up in there, they’ll strap me to an electrical chair to serve as an example to you noobies everywhere.
The Greenday’s concert is all sold out now, but I just got a backstage pass. And here’s my brand new SAT scores, the college board can kiss my ass. Here’s my check from MTV, and it’s all made out to me! And it will probably take an eternity before accounting finds out that I’m not an employee.
I have got Photoshop, and I just can’t stop: I just copy, paste and I drag and drop. And everything in my life seems so much better! Like this girl I date, thinks I’m 28, little does she know that I’m ????. And she even thinks I’m certified to forecast the weather.
Hilarious, no? Also very agreeable are ‘Unhackable on the tones of ‘You are Beautiful’ and ‘an Internet Love Song‘.
Thank God for The 61! ;) (And see, I don’t bump only Second Life artists! ;)
And for the photoshop-nerds reading this, what was the most evil thing you ever did as it came to ‘forgery’? Or what was your best attempt at doing something evil with photoshop-forgery? With me it was a few report cards (used), messing with friend’s photographs (used) and a fake bank transfer paper: changing the bank account number where the money for a 1 week not obligatory school trip should be transferred to, before handing it to the parents. Anyway, we never used that. The conscience - and fear to get caught - timely kicked in.