Believe me, you can’t live your Second Life to the max until you realise and accept the following:
Whatever happens in-world stays in-world gets published on the web.
The myth of total anonymity shall be kept alive.
Breasts are squared (until you take a closer look) and push-up bra’s are default.
Sex is not defined at birth. Often, it’s not defined at all.
Drama is a skill. Admire those who can. From a large distance.
Eventually, all things will rezz. (Or not.)
Remember, deep down, we all share the same mesh.
Get a First Life for Sunday Evenings.
Penises, pigs and you can fly.
Mile High is your best guaranty for privacy.
Got any more indispensable knowledge needed to appreciate Second Life that both ‘Praddles’ and me forgot about? We both have comments! ;)
Inspired by Prad Prathivi’s ‘Rules of Second Life’ where Mr Prathivi shares wisdoms such as “15. You have enough clothes.”, “16. You have too many shoes.” and “46. Putting on a tail and ears and purring a lot doesn’t make you cute.” Don’t worry about #46 all to much. Mr. Prad forgot to mention ‘46 bis’: “Good guns on girls guarantee cuteness.” ;)
If this isn’t futuristic, I don’t know what is. An awesome blonde blend of Hackers, Mad Max and Fashion Shoot gone terribly wrong. Mr Philip Rosedale - aka Philip Linden - at the ‘real’ Burning Man 2008 as shot by ‘Gabe Kirchheimer‘.
There are some clichés that always make you laugh - or at least grin - like the ‘you know you are addicted to…’ lists: You know you are addicted to Second Life when…. It’s funny because they are bound to contain some ’similarities’ to you own behaviour, be it often less extreme. But what if we reverse this game? What on earth would we, worried avatars, say about our humans, when they are playing outside - yet again?
I recently had to remind my human she’s playing to much Real Life lately, so I’ll kick this one off:
You know you are playing to much Real Life when…
… the propositions you get IRL are actually less honourable than those you get in Second Life.
… you claim humans can’t fly.
… you say ‘but people can’t help the colour of their skin’.
… you think that acquiring land is actually worth something.
… you are surprised you can hear through walls.
… you think people are born with genitals.
… you believe in monogamy.
… you are sure breasts are supposed to be round in stead of square.
… you say it’s impossible for man to influence the position of the sun.
… you forget to take your SwimmingHUD on holidays.
… you tell everybody plywood is a limited natural resource.
Oops. That’s 11. Which one should I drop? ;) But, dear fellow avies, share your opinions! Anything other signs of RL addiction we’d better warn our humans about?
For those curious, this is how the human looked like a few days ago. Really, can you imagine, she almost has a tan!!!?
For some strange reason, I’m incredibly happy with how the cover for Foolish Frost’s newest release ‘Prim in my hand’, a Second Life builder’s song. I already loved his ‘Avatar Song’, so I was honoured he was as lazy as to let me do the cover for this one! I already had a ’sneak prehear’ and the lyrics are - as usual - hilarious. Together with ‘Prim in my hand’ (listen and/or download) , Mr Foolish will bring an ‘updated’ version of the Avatar song which, I promise you, will guarantee you at least a few chuckles over the added lyrics. The Second Life God reference? Now, c’mon, who has not heard from Mr Foolish yet? The official invite:
Those that know the ‘Avatar Song’ by Foolish Frost will be highly delighted - and those that have never heard of it should urgently check out avatar.rezzable.com - to hear that Foolish Frost - for the GMF festival - will perform ‘Avatar’, a revised version ‘Return of the Avatar’ and his newest release ‘Prim in my hand’ this Friday, 26th of September, 2PM sharp at Crimson Shadow. All invited for the release party this Friday!
More on Foolish Frost and the gig over at the ‘invitation blogpost‘. The Avatar Song is already available for watching, listening, reading lyrics & downloading at avatar.rezzable.com. We’ll publish recordings from ‘Prim in my Hand’ and ‘Return of the Avatar’ after Friday’s release party at music.rezzable.com. If you - or your human - use facebook, feel free to RSVP here (yeah, Vint testing social networking skills! ;)).
My apologies to:
Michelangelo: For ripping off God’s hand, rotating it, and recolouring it. But guess if virtual worlds existed in M’s time, he would have loved them!
Foolish Frost: For adding that cute pink flower coming out of the prim. I know it’s not really your style.
Prad Prathivi’s ‘Second Life Keyboard’ is to hilarious not to plug it in here. Behold, look at the big size and roll over the floor laughing your pretty ass off. This will surely win him a nomination for SL’s hottest avatar 2008.
Most useful buttons? That will probably be ‘No, I don’t want to send a bloody crash report‘, ‘increase FPS‘, ‘random outfit‘ and the shortcut button to your ‘drama friendlist’.
Don’t ask. But anyway, if you start watching at 1 minute and 34 seconds, and you will see that the cute dancing male humans have tails! I first thought I was dreaming this. Why do they have tails? And where do I order a set of two? (Tails included, that is. :d)
Linden calling to the faraway SIMs
Now that regulation is declared-and VAT come down
Linden calling to the virtual world
Come out of the Real Life, all you boys and girls
Mind that I fall in? Let’s pretend I can write lyrics and sing. *grins*
Linden calling, now don’t look at WoW
World of Warcraft has bitten the dust
Linden calling, see we ain’t got no lag
‘cept for on popular sims, but please, let me brag!
The metaverse is coming, alt+0 is zooming in
Meltdown expected, the scaling is growing thin
Clients stop running, but I have no fear
Cause Linden is drowning, but if needed we’ll find a way to out of here!
Still 3 verses left for those who want to give butchering the Clash’s lyrics for London Calling a try themselves!
I just _love_ doom day’s scenario’s, as there is always - at least - some truth in them. That and they are funny. So sit back, relax and have good look at how the allied Open Source community drives our Führer to madness and defeat. This creepy parody on our Brave New Virtual World called Second Life is conceived by Crystal Studio’s.
“At least we still have Orientation Island… WITH AN 80 DROP OUT RATE!!! Who’s idea was it to make it that stupid! I tried to go there last night… to reassure myself. I like, I rode the segway BUT I COULD NOT FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET OFF IT!! THEN I GOT STUCK IN THE GROUND!!11” Hitler
Ah, well, stereotypes are fun, and there for a few reasons. One of these reasons is the incredible breeding ground for good humour that they make. I could not resist, and inscribed the guys from Are We Not Men? for this two-day seminar:
Two-Day Course For Men
EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!
OPEN TO MEN ONLY - ALL ARE WELCOME
Note: Due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants. The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include:
HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
Step-by-step guide with slide presentation
TOILET ROLLS - DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Round table discussion
DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
Practising with hamper (Pictures and graphics)
DISHES & SILVERWARE - DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Debate among a panel of experts.
Losing the remote control - Help line and support groups
LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming - Open forum
EMPTY MILK CARTONS - DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
Group discussion and role play
HEALTH WATCH - BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH
REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real life testimonial from the one man who did
IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
LIVING WITH ADULTS - BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER
On-line class and role playing
HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques
REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU’RE GOING TO BE LATE
Bring your calendar or PDA to class
GETTING OVER IT
Learning how to live with being wrong all the time
Disclaimer: Yes, I really think this is funny, and yes, once in a while we need to take a break from Second Life, don’t we? ;)