Found on the Second Life Wiki article about the JIRA issue tracker, and this delicious Greenie ‘lolcat’ was created and added by Mister Daedalus Young.

Mr Young, ty! for putting a huuuuge grin on my face! ;) (Despite the fact I seem to be unable to log into the *insert swearword* JIRA at the moment. Anybody else experiencing problems with that?)

Linden calling to the faraway SIMs
Now that regulation is declared-and VAT come down

Linden calling to the virtual world
Come out of the Real Life, all you boys and girls

Mind that I fall in? Let’s pretend I can write lyrics and sing. *grins*

Linden calling, now don’t look at WoW
World of Warcraft has bitten the dust
Linden calling, see we ain’t got no lag
‘cept for on popular sims, but please, let me brag!

CHORUS
The metaverse is coming, alt+0 is zooming in
Meltdown expected, the scaling is growing thin
Clients stop running, but I have no fear
Cause Linden is drowning, but if needed we’ll find a way to out of here!

Still 3 verses left for those who want to give butchering the Clash’s lyrics for London Calling a try themselves!

“At least we still have Orientation Island… WITH AN 80 DROP OUT RATE!!! Who’s idea was it to make it that stupid! I tried to go there last night… to reassure myself. I like, I rode the segway BUT I COULD NOT FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET OFF IT!! THEN I GOT STUCK IN THE GROUND!!11” Hitler

I’ll just continue pondering the screws and the SLart.

Two-Day Course For Men

EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!
OPEN TO MEN ONLY - ALL ARE WELCOME

Note: Due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants. The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include:

DAY ONE

1. HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
   Step-by-step guide with slide presentation
2. TOILET ROLLS - DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
   Round table discussion
3. DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
   Practising with hamper (Pictures and graphics)
4. DISHES & SILVERWARE - DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
   Debate among a panel of experts.
5. REMOTE CONTROL
   Losing the remote control - Help line and support groups
6. LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
   Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming - Open forum

DAY TWO

1. EMPTY MILK CARTONS - DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
   Group discussion and role play
2. HEALTH WATCH - BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH
   PowerPoint presentation
3. REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
   Real life testimonial from the one man who did
4. IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
   Driving simulation
5. LIVING WITH ADULTS - BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER
   On-line class and role playing
6. HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
   Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques
7. REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU’RE GOING TO BE LATE
   Bring your calendar or PDA to class
8. GETTING OVER IT
   Learning how to live with being wrong all the time

Disclaimer: Yes, I really think this is funny, and yes, once in a while we need to take a break from Second Life, don’t we? ;)

U.S. Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson weighed in, by talking about the ramifications of virtual world currencies possibly surpassing and replacing the U.S. Dollar.

“From our charts, we can see that the U.S. Dollar is falling against the Linden. If too many people become engrossed with virtual world economies, we could see a downward spiral for the Dollar. Eventually, there could be a situation in which people trade the Dollar for virtual currencies. This could create a trade deficit of sorts between real world goods and virtual world goods, causing our entire economy to get sucked up into a virtual world. Americans could end up standing in virtual bread lines, and living out on virtual streets, facing virtual poverty, in a virtual recession.” said Secretary Paulson.

“How freaky to think about the possibily that a virtual currency could replace the U.S. Dollar,” said GOP strategist, Emma Faye Kerr. Ms. Kerr continued, “If that ever happened, the entire economy would be replaced by a sort of virtual economy, where everybody, including the government, loses connection with the reality-based world. Thank God we have a President that is still in touch with reality, who has decided to take action against the threat of virtual worlds replacing the real world.“

I fear the Linden Employees being send to Guatamala bay, as the terrorist they are. And then the glorious leader might decide forcing them to developed a government controlled virtual world, which can be put on top of Google maps. Border control will be easier there, the handing out of Green Cards can then be an completely electronic process in cooperation with the spammers, and Halliburton would get the contract for age verification. On top of that the USA could continue to live it’s dream of world domination as soldiers can easily create alts to serve on multiple continents at the same time and battle damage brings you back to your home sim safely in stead of a in body bag.

The FBI representative talked about the possibilities and safeties this will guarantee the USA’s economy: “Imagine virtual health care for those who can not afford it in First Life! A dental program? Who needs one, when teeth are included with a new skin. Imagine a virtual democratic process that makes people truly believe they and not the lobbying groups influence politics!”

When asked about Professor Vint’s concerns if this would be the final stab in the back for USA teens and young adolescent’s knowledge of English spelling and grammar, Mr. Undercover Linden stated: “All your base are now belong to us.”

The word is terrorism. Say it.

Anyway, my partner Tamara pointed out on Twitter: “Good luck finding 72 virgins in SL.”

Crap Mariner points out the limits of terrorist training in Second Life. An awesome read - if you ignore his Das Waffenamt fascination. :p

Some other drawbacks:

1. Lousy support for Arabic Languages when naming notecards, objects, … .
2. Smugling explosives in is hard as you can’t drive pass a sim border. Same with airplanes dropping to the ground when passing those borders before they reach target.
3. You’re bound to find your recruits frequenting the stripclubs more often then the classes.
4. Fertilizer can only be found at Svarga.
5. Guns are all no-transfer.
6. Ruthed terrorists just aren’t taken seriously.
7. It is very easy to prevent people from building walls on land they do not own.
8. Nothing can really top flying penises attacking Anshe.

Which makes me think I might need to update the ‘you know you are addicted to SL when…‘ list.

You know you’re addicted to Second Life…

• When you point out camping area’s at a brand boot at a real life festival. (As in campers, not as in ‘tent and sleep’.)
• When you can’t have sex without the appropriate poseballs. (Zoe Connolly)
• When you walk up to a woman and ask her where she bought her great skin. (Tiessa Montgolfier)
• When you are constantly frustrated at not being able to zoom and rotate on firefox, your TV, in your backyard, while driving… (Alexander Burgess)
• When you refer to your clothes wardrobe as your inventory. (Shockwave Plasma)
• When you wonder why there are no furries on the streets. (Shockwave Plasma)
• When you are surprised your genitals don’t detach. (Shockwave Plasma)
• When you walk into a good friend and say /hug (persons name) and waits still she/he accept. (Bloodhex)
• When you say ao off when you gonna sit on the dinertable. (Bloodhex)
• When you start to use alt+0 and alt+8 as zoom commands in Photoshop. (Chloe Streeter)
• When you constantly threaten to shoot people. In First Life.
• When you complain about the lag in a traffic jam. (Max Malick)
• When you almost think of de-rezzing your car at the mall when you can’t find a parking space. (Stellaarbandid)
• When you stop buying art supplies. (Siyu Suen)
• When you accidently tell someone in real life that you have to go and rez dinner now. (Phoenixa Sol)
• When you mistake a hungover blurriness for textures Z-fighting each other. (Kisa Naumova)
• When you refer to changing clothes in First Life as ‘editing appearance’. (Gislain Knibber)
• … ?

Voila. Done.

“Nigeria was the first nation to report a full economic collaps from the internet crash, 94% of it’s gross national product came from internet ventures.”

From The Onion (I think).

For two months, each morning, ask the lady avatar how she is feeling today. If during those two months, each morning, you get the answer: ‘I’m feeling fine, thank you.’ it is most definitely not a lady you are talking to.