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Laughter | VintFalken.com
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Archive for the 'Laughter' category

SNN reports: FBI raid Second Life’s HQ, seizing all Lindens!

November 27, 2007 7:58 am

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SL4B: Philip LindenSAN FRANCISCO, CA — Last night, Secret Service and FBI agents raided the headquarters of Second Life, seizing all Lindens. Second Life is a sophisticated social-networking tool, better known as a massive, multi-player, online virtual world.

U.S. Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson weighed in, by talking about the ramifications of virtual world currencies possibly surpassing and replacing the U.S. Dollar.

(Vint's) Linden Dollar“From our charts, we can see that the U.S. Dollar is falling against the Linden. If too many people become engrossed with virtual world economies, we could see a downward spiral for the Dollar. Eventually, there could be a situation in which people trade the Dollar for virtual currencies. This could create a trade deficit of sorts between real world goods and virtual world goods, causing our entire economy to get sucked up into a virtual world. Americans could end up standing in virtual bread lines, and living out on virtual streets, facing virtual poverty, in a virtual recession.” said Secretary Paulson.

How freaky to think about the possibily that a virtual currency could replace the U.S. Dollar,” said GOP strategist, Emma Faye Kerr. Ms. Kerr continued, “If that ever happened, the entire economy would be replaced by a sort of virtual economy, where everybody, including the government, loses connection with the reality-based world. Thank God we have a President that is still in touch with reality, who has decided to take action against the threat of virtual worlds replacing the real world.

SL4B: Iridium LindenI fear the Linden Employees being send to Guatamala bay, as the terrorist they are. And then the glorious leader might decide forcing them to developed a government controlled virtual world, which can be put on top of Google maps. Border control will be easier there, the handing out of Green Cards can then be an completely electronic process in cooperation with the spammers, and Halliburton would get the contract for age verification. On top of that the USA could continue to live it’s dream of world domination as soldiers can easily create alts to serve on multiple continents at the same time and battle damage brings you back to your home sim safely in stead of a in body bag.

Ardra Ah, Head Nuse @ ZhivagoThe FBI representative talked about the possibilities and safeties this will guarantee the USA’s economy: “Imagine virtual health care for those who can not afford it in First Life! A dental program? Who needs one, when teeth are included with a new skin. Imagine a virtual democratic process that makes people truly believe they and not the lobbying groups influence politics!”

When asked about Professor Vint’s concerns if this would be the final stab in the back for USA teens and young adolescent’s knowledge of English spelling and grammar, Mr. Undercover Linden stated: “All your base are now belong to us.”

72 virgins in Second Life?! Crap!

August 22, 2007 8:42 am

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Androgyna with huge gunApparently, representatives from The Religion Of Peace are spending time in Second Life training for what the New York Times and Guardian lovingly call “resistance operations” and “insurgency” and “freedom fighting” and that kind of malarkey.

The word is terrorism. Say it.

Anyway, my partner Tamara pointed out on Twitter: “Good luck finding 72 virgins in SL.”

Crap Mariner points out the limits of terrorist training in Second Life. An awesome read - if you ignore his Das Waffenamt fascination. :p

Some other drawbacks:

  1. Lousy support for Arabic Languages when naming notecards, objects, … .
  2. Smugling explosives in is hard as you can’t drive pass a sim border. Same with airplanes dropping to the ground when passing those borders before they reach target.
  3. You’re bound to find your recruits frequenting the stripclubs more often then the classes.
  4. Fertilizer can only be found at Svarga.
  5. Guns are all no-transfer.
  6. Ruthed terrorists just aren’t taken seriously.
  7. It is very easy to prevent people from building walls on land they do not own.
  8. Nothing can really top flying penises attacking Anshe.

SLaddiction

July 26, 2007 7:27 am

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Yes. / Euh? Huh? / Yes. / Yes. As breakfast is usually merged with lunch. / No way! / No. After evening bath: yes. / Yes / Yes / Yes / Yes. See evening bath. / No. Arrived late: yes. / No. / No. / No. / Dunno. Still waiting for my first rezzday. / Probably. / No

Which makes me think I might need to update the ‘you know you are addicted to SL when…‘ list.

You know you’re addicted to Second Life…

  • When you point out camping area’s at a brand boot at a real life festival. (As in campers, not as in ‘tent and sleep’.)
  • When you can’t have sex without the appropriate poseballs. (Zoe Connolly)
  • When you walk up to a woman and ask her where she bought her great skin. (Tiessa Montgolfier)
  • When you are constantly frustrated at not being able to zoom and rotate on firefox, your TV, in your backyard, while driving… (Alexander Burgess)
  • When you refer to your clothes wardrobe as your inventory. (Shockwave Plasma)
  • When you wonder why there are no furries on the streets. (Shockwave Plasma)
  • When you are surprised your genitals don’t detach. (Shockwave Plasma)
  • When you walk into a good friend and say /hug (persons name) and waits still she/he accept. (Bloodhex)
  • When you say ao off when you gonna sit on the dinertable. (Bloodhex)
  • When you start to use alt+0 and alt+8 as zoom commands in Photoshop. (Chloe Streeter)
  • When you constantly threaten to shoot people. In First Life.
  • When you complain about the lag in a traffic jam. (Max Malick)
  • When you almost think of de-rezzing your car at the mall when you can’t find a parking space. (Stellaarbandid)
  • When you stop buying art supplies. (Siyu Suen)
  • When you accidently tell someone in real life that you have to go and rez dinner now. (Phoenixa Sol)
  • When you mistake a hungover blurriness for textures Z-fighting each other. (Kisa Naumova)
  • When you refer to changing clothes in First Life as ‘editing appearance’. (Gislain Knibber)
  • … ?

Voila. Done.

Web Crash 2007

July 25, 2007 7:00 am

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Why didn’t I see this before?! It’s [LMAO]³².

“Nigeria was the first nation to report a full economic collaps from the internet crash, 94% of it’s gross national product came from internet ventures.”

From The Onion (I think).

Is She really a she?

July 24, 2007 5:02 am

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L.C. shared with me his tactics for testing if female avatars have a lady or a gent behind their keyboards. L.’s way of gender testing is somewhat time intensive, within narrow minded standard gender thinking and probably not completely fool proof, but worth a try:

For two months, each morning, ask the lady avatar how she is feeling today. If during those two months, each morning, you get the answer: ‘I’m feeling fine, thank you.’ it is most definitely not a lady you are talking to.

Great ideas that will never be executed (Part MCMXIV)

June 23, 2007 6:04 pm

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RedDawn Bade: sounds like a deal - but I have to warn you
RedDawn Bade: a podcast by me would probably put you to sleep
RedDawn Bade: it’d be boring - I’m sure :)
Vint Falken: hmmm yeah well
Vint Falken: then i use it for if i can’t sleep? ;)
RedDawn Bade: yeah - I could maybe sell my podcasts as a sleep aid
Vint Falken: ‘reddawn bade reads the ToS: part I’
Vint Falken: ;)
RedDawn Bade: omg - that would put anyone to sleep
Vint Falken: actually
Vint Falken: this is a fun idea for a blogpost
RedDawn Bade: what - creative uses of the ToS?
RedDawn Bade: suplement Linden writing for sleep drugs?
Vint Falken: no ‘bed time stories: the T0s’
RedDawn Bade: lmao
RedDawn Bade: is it a scary bedtime story…
RedDawn Bade: or horrror
Vint Falken: héhé
Vint Falken: ‘creepy bedtime fairytales: the tos’
RedDawn Bade: that works :)
RedDawn Bade: I like it
RedDawn Bade: sort of like dawn of the dead…
RedDawn Bade: you can’t kill it

Imagine: *put dreamy music on* Once upon a time, in a metaverse far away which was rumoured to be ‘First Life’ a handsome prince wanted to visit a beautiful kajira in the neighbouring world called ‘Second Life’. He went to the Evil Dominatrix to ask her for guidance. The Evil Dominatrix told the friendly young man that if he really wished to find his princess he should download and install the Second Life Client. And so our charming prince did.

All went well, until suddenly he had to press a button with a text that said: ‘Welcome to Second Life! The following agreement (this “Agreement” or the “Terms of Service”) describes the terms on which Linden Research, Inc. (”Linden Lab”) offers you access to its services. This offer is conditioned on your agreement to all of the terms and conditions contained in the Terms of Service, including your compliance with the policies and terms linked to (by way of the provided URLs) from this Agreement. By using Second Life, you agree to these Terms of Service. If you do not so agree, you should decline this agreement, in which case you are prohibited from accessing or using Second Life. Linden Lab may amend this Agreement at any time in its sole discretion, effective upon posting the amended Agreement at the domain or subdomains of http://secondlife.com where the prior version of this Agreement was posted, or by communicating these changes through any written contact method we have established with you.

This was Vint Falken, reading for you the first part of our Creepy Bedtime Fairytales: the Second Life Tos. I hope you will have a good night’s rest, and if you want to know about the stuff prince charming unwillingly agreed upon so he would be able to travel into Second Life and find his lovely kajira, tune in again next week for Vint Falken reading Creepy Bedtime Fairytales: the Second Life ToS (part 2).

SL to RL video spoof

June 16, 2007 3:18 am

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[LMAO]², yet the guy is flying a bit low, the girls could use some decent AO’s and the guys some better dance animations. The poseballs on the couch aren’t placed that well either. And is that lady trying to edit a no-copy, no-mod phone? Way better with sound on! Which brings me to another interesting question, has somebody ever seen a fire extinguisher in Second Life? ;)

(Found at Belgian SLforum.)

Pong exported to FL

June 6, 2007 12:23 am

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An older, but neat example of how a simple game like Pong can interact with a real environment. Reminds me of IBM bringing the Roland Garros tennis ball to Second Life.

De Pong Game is a recycling of the famous game Pong [Atari 1975-1977]. This new version has been built with Flash (Action Script) by Arjan Westerdiep for Recyclism™ (Benjamin Gaulon).

This project is exploring the concept of Augmented Reality by using and interacting with urban architecture or buildings as a background for the game. Thus the game is projected on a building and the limits of that building are becoming the limits of the game area. The ball projected on the building bounces along the limits of the walls.

The software is also using the windows as an obstacles for the game. So the ball is limited to frame of the building. As you touch the ball with the slider, its speed increases and because the ball bounces on all the obstacles of the architecture it becomes more and more difficult to play.

Furzi situation humor

May 27, 2007 5:25 am

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With permission, blanking the names out anyway, as who knows what the next SL crusade will be against:

F.L. about Second Life: The first game in which i am NOT killing comrades wearing german uniforms* smiling*

F.L: i could need a serious, proud girlfriend in this game :p
F.L.: but a human one
F.L.: i assume
R.P.: :(
You: geeh
You: rainbow
You: he does not like us
You: :(
R.P.: Hey I may be furry but I still keep some areas smooth. :3
F.L.: unfortunately it is not possible to do such things in real life
You: lmao
You: brazilian furry? :d
R.P.: what do you mean
R.P.: I am seriously lacking in crotchfluff
F.L.: keep smooth?
R.P.: My landing strip is smooth..er..yeah.

Pre-Update-Wednesday-Tuesday

May 22, 2007 2:25 pm

Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method UltimateTagWarriorActions::ultimate_the_content_filter() should not be called statically in /home/vintfalk/public_html/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

Strict Standards: Non-static method UltimateTagWarriorActions::regExEscape() should not be called statically in /home/vintfalk/public_html/wp-content/plugins/UltimateTagWarrior/ultimate-tag-warrior-actions.php on line 655

Strict Standards: Non-static method UltimateTagWarriorActions::regExEscape() should not be called statically in /home/vintfalk/public_html/wp-content/plugins/UltimateTagWarrior/ultimate-tag-warrior-actions.php on line 655

Strict Standards: Non-static method UltimateTagWarriorActions::regExEscape() should not be called statically in /home/vintfalk/public_html/wp-content/plugins/UltimateTagWarrior/ultimate-tag-warrior-actions.php on line 656

Strict Standards: Non-static method UltimateTagWarriorActions::regExEscape() should not be called statically in /home/vintfalk/public_html/wp-content/plugins/UltimateTagWarrior/ultimate-tag-warrior-actions.php on line 656

Strict Standards: Non-static method UltimateTagWarriorActions::replaceTagWithLink() should not be called statically in /home/vintfalk/public_html/wp-content/plugins/UltimateTagWarrior/ultimate-tag-warrior-actions.php on line 660

The Irony - Pre-Update-Wednesday-Tuesday

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