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The Death Of Vinnie Linden (Machinima by Crap Mariner)

November 16, 2008 8:10 pm

You never heard of Vinnie Linden? He’s not showing up on search. Of course not, the Lindens bury their mistakes. “Keep it private. Keep it in the Family,” Godfather Mitch says … Vinnie was going to blow the lit of the whole shabang: Zee’s cooked number, Anshe’s trafficking in cheap Chinese sculptures, the rich’s rigged snail races, all sorts of stuff. Even the truth about Bay City and Nautilus. He would go to deal with the FEDs. 5 to 10 years in the Cornfield. Come out with a new face in the World of Warcraft protection program …


Make sure to press ‘Watch in High Quality”

Disclaimer: As far as we know - and official Linden records such as the knowledge base and the Second Life wiki show us - Vinnie Linden never existed. ‘The Death of Vinnie Linden’ has sprung from the brain of Linden Conspiracy Theory artist Crap Mariner. Of course, there’s always a small chance he’s right… . ;)

Keeping in mind my bad, bad, BAD! understanding of the English language, Mr. Mariner was as nice as to release the full story of The Death of Vinnie Linden, as it originally happened:

You never heard of Vinnie Linden? He’s not showing up in search? Of course not. The Linden bury their mistakes. Keep it private and out of the papers. Keep it in the family, Godfather Mitch says. Keep it clean. He wasn’t no M… or Torley… or Robin… or any of the family you hear about. Just a capo… a soldier. An errand-boy, but he was smart. Too smart, I guess. He had plans, dreams.. ideas for Premium accounts, Lindex reform, OpenSpace and void pricing. The casinos, the hookers - do you think they were really gone? He was gonna blow the lid off the whole shebang, Z’s cooked numbers, Anshe trafficking in cheap Chinese sculpties, rigged snail races… All sorts of stuff. Even the truth about Bay City and Nautilus. He worked out a deal… five to ten in the cornfield, come out with a new face in the World Of Warcraft Protection Program. Tat “The Heart” Nino and Prokofy were waiting on the other side, but he missed the dropoff. It’s a shame, really… he had such a bright future, now his partner’s a widow and his three alts don’t have a primary account to grow up having around. I’m sitting at my desk, and I get a package… it’s a seven seas fish wrapped in the Second Life Herald. Pixleen asks about the smell. I say: “Now, he’s holding office hours with the fishes.”

That leaves you to figure out what’s this all about tier, three grand-fathered children and a pair of shoes! ;)

9 Responses to “The Death Of Vinnie Linden (Machinima by Crap Mariner)”

dandellion Kimban wrote a comment on November 16, 2008
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LOL
Great.

P.S: Crap, we should talk a bit about positioning of mic, plosives and filters ;)

Crap Mariner wrote a comment on November 16, 2008
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dk-

I’ve been podcasting over three years, did audio work long before that.

I know all the rules and equipment, and I do my best to ignore each and every one of those rules. ;)

Heh.

-ls/cm

Dale Innis wrote a comment on November 17, 2008
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lols! Now he’s keepin’ office hours with the fishes! Brilliant.

(On the transcript: that was “cheap Chinese scuplties” I think, funnier that way too…)

Vint Falken wrote a comment on November 17, 2008
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Dale, check out the updated post. Still a little part to figure out! ;)

Dale Innis wrote a comment on November 17, 2008
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Just ’cause I’m enjoying listening to this so much, here ya go, including the places he went off-script in performance. :)

(World of Warcraft Protection Program hee hee!)

You never heard of Vinnie Linden? He’s not showing up in search? Of course not. The Linden bury their mistakes. Keep it private, keep it in the family, Godfather Mitch says. He wasn’t no M… or Torley… or Robin… or any of the family you hear about. He was just a capo… a soldier. An errand-boy, but he was smart. Too smart for his own good, I guess. He had plans, dreams, ideas for Premium accounts, Lindex reform, OpenSpace and void pricing. This got on Jack the Knife, he handled land for the family. You see, the casinos, the hookers, the banks - do you think they were really gone? Vinnie was gonna blow the lid off the whole shebang, Z’s cooked numbers, Anshe trafficking in cheap Chinese sculpties, rigged snail races… All sorts of stuff. Even the truth about Bay City and Nautilus. He worked out a deal with the Feds: five to ten in the cornfield, come out with a new face in the World Of Warcraft Protection Program. Tat “The Heart” Nino and Prokofy were waiting on the other side for him, but he missed the dropoff. I’m sitting at my desk, and I get a package… it’s a seven seas fish wrapped in the Second Life Herald. Pixleen asks about the smell. I say: “Now, he’s holding office hours with the fishes.” It’s a shame, really… he had such a bright future, now his partner’s a widow and his three alts don’t have a primary account to grow up having around; stipend doesn’t even cover shoes for one. What a waste!

Vint Falken wrote a comment on November 17, 2008
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Thanks, Dale! We’re ‘complete’ now, I believe. :D

Inara Pey wrote a comment on November 17, 2008
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Brilliant… absolutely brilliant….

rightasrain wrote a comment on November 17, 2008
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dat funny–but what about the “Snow Crash” conspiracy…dey really tink dey can programz us to be mindless, perverts who waste de money in SL while world collapses…one day we will spend more money inworld that at de ‘bucks.

Just five more minutes… « Dale Innis’s Weblog sent a pingback on November 17, 2008
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[…] generally anti-audio and anti-video, preferring the lucidity of text, but in this case…) for Vint Falken’s weblog. Not sure exactly why I did that, but it doesn’t lose its appeal on repeated […]

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