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Two-day Course For Men | VintFalken.com
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VintFalken.com

Two-day Course For Men

January 11, 2008 6:27 pm

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Vincent Serrurier (at Relay For Life Benefit Car Show 2007)Ah, well, stereotypes are fun, and there for a few reasons. One of these reasons is the incredible breeding ground for good humour that they make. I could not resist, and inscribed the guys from Are We Not Men? for this two-day seminar:

Two-Day Course For Men

EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!
OPEN TO MEN ONLY - ALL ARE WELCOME

Note: Due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants. The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include:

DAY ONE

  1. HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
    Step-by-step guide with slide presentation
  2. TOILET ROLLS - DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
    Round table discussion
  3. DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
    Practising with hamper (Pictures and graphics)
  4. DISHES & SILVERWARE - DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
    Debate among a panel of experts.
  5. REMOTE CONTROL
    Losing the remote control - Help line and support groups
  6. LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
    Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming - Open forum

DAY TWO

  1. EMPTY MILK CARTONS - DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
    Group discussion and role play
  2. HEALTH WATCH - BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH
    PowerPoint presentation
  3. REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
    Real life testimonial from the one man who did
  4. IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
    Driving simulation
  5. LIVING WITH ADULTS - BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER
    On-line class and role playing
  6. HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
    Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques
  7. REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU’RE GOING TO BE LATE
    Bring your calendar or PDA to class
  8. GETTING OVER IT
    Learning how to live with being wrong all the time

Disclaimer: Yes, I really think this is funny, and yes, once in a while we need to take a break from Second Life, don’t we? ;)

15 Responses to “Two-day Course For Men”

GM Nikolaidis wrote a comment on January 11, 2008
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I was about to complain about unfair stereotypes, but then I realized that I am guilty of all but two of those.

Vint Falken wrote a comment on January 11, 2008
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Ah well, eight out of 14 go for me… *runs to the shrink whilst screaming ‘help, I’m male!’*

Sered Woollahra wrote a comment on January 11, 2008
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I’d like to see the advanced courses “dealing with inlaws” and “how to deal with her little brother” as well. With roleplay, preferrably!

Veronique Kaminski wrote a comment on January 11, 2008
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lmpao !

I am missing a link to the mercator add here Vint…

Flux Woyseck wrote a comment on January 11, 2008
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Yea I’m guilty of all those but 3, though the wife will say otherwise I’m sure. LOL

On a side note, awesome picture, probably one of the best I have seen of my old place. Good Job!

Kami Harbinger wrote a comment on January 11, 2008
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I don’t know that “guilty” is the right word; of course those describe most men, because only women care about those things, and it’s easy to get women to do them for you, while you concentrate on “important” stuff (work, videogames, TV, playing with the dog, whatever).

However, real men do *not* ask for directions. Real men have a sense of direction and can read maps, so they don’t get lost and have to beg someone else to navigate for them. If you see a man ask for directions, “he” is a transvestite.

Shopping with women is only possible thanks to the development of the whiskey flask.

Wrath wrote a comment on January 11, 2008
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OMG that is too funny, Vint!! Point taken. *g*

Not sure how many ‘voluntary’ applicants you can expect, but I suspect a lot of guys can probably expect to receive a notice in the mail that someone close to them has signed them up for all 14 classes. ;-)

Vint Falken wrote a comment on January 11, 2008
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Oh, I see we’ve found ourself a Real Man. Now, already I see a paradox in your reasoning: Yes, the Real Man can read maps, but as he does not remember where he has put them without the help of the female, that renders His Powers useless, won’t you think? ;) And euhm, hun? ‘… easy to get women to do them for you…’ That chick picking up your clothes when you rez tomorrow morning, she’s probably a guy. ;)

Vint Falken wrote a comment on January 11, 2008
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And especially for Veronique, a link to Mr. Mercator aka Gunther Samson. ;)

Kami Harbinger wrote a comment on January 11, 2008
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Most men won’t lose anything important like remote controls, maps, pocket knives, glasses, etc. On the other hand, saying “I don’t remember where I left sometool” is a good way of getting out of doing household chores involving sometool, and fleeing to the garage (inherently grimy, and therefore men’s territory, where women fear to enter) under pretense of looking out there.

If your boyfriend is regularly losing stuff, which you then find, he’s probably faking it to make you feel good. That’s what passes for “romance” with us.

OTOH, I’m not as bad as a friend of mine. At one point a couple weeks without a girlfriend, he said he really needed a new girlfriend: his laundry was piling up.

dandellion Kimban wrote a comment on January 12, 2008
MyAvatars 0.2

Ah well, eight out of 14 go for me… *runs to the shrink whilst screaming ‘help, I’m male!’*

You reached the peak of second life… not only that one cannot trust that any other female avie is female indeed, now you cannot trust your own self!

Bhelle Alacrity wrote a comment on January 12, 2008
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In fact I do have a view that men CAN be weaned off the remote control. A phase out period holding a mobile phone while watching TV can be a help.

Mylena Aquitaine wrote a comment on January 13, 2008
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LMAO Vint!!!

No milk in this house…. so that one doesn’t apply.

I do think it’s best if I remain mute on the rest…

;-)

Alex Burgess wrote a comment on January 19, 2008
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Beautiful, Vint. A great outline of stereotypical male shortcomings with great humor. But I have to agree with Kami, this behavior is learned by us because by caring less the women do more of these things for us. I see no reason for a remedial seminar.

In my case, I’ve learned to do it in the car as well. If I let Myg navigate (which she does very well), it allows me to think about more important stuff, such as brainstorming blog posts, remembering particularly funny lines from movies and TV shows, talking to the dog, etc.

And the only one I am not guilty of is not knowing “how to find things.” I very rarely forget where I left something, let alone actually lose anything. Admittedly, when it does happen I’m prone to upset, but it’s so rare compared to how often Myg perceives she has lost something important, only to discover it where it should actually be. She’s gotten to the point that she often just asks me where he stuff is, so she… HOLY SHIT she did the same thing to me. She has me keeping track of all of her stuff so she doesn’t have to! MYG!

Myg wrote a comment on January 19, 2008
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/me registers Alex for the seminar. Packs his bags.

Farking brilliant post Vint.

Care to comment?